Charles Louis Page Calder the Second is a guitar magician best known for his tapped harmonics and luscious ponytail. Charlie is also a part time model and his abs have scored him multiple high level jobs. His most famous work, entitled “getting faggy with it” (thus named because of the pack of marlborough on his shirt) takes pride of place on his wall, right next to his birth certificate and 3rd place chess trophy.

Jack Orr is a bass player from Richmond Upon-Thames. Although statistically voted the least talented member of the band in last years Scottish referendum, he makes up for this with the fact that he has shitloads of money from his time as a Russian Oligarch.

Louis Cowhig is a drummer.